Summer’s almost over. The days are still hot but the nights are getting cooler. Outside, I can see that it was beginning to rain. It was just enough to wash away the haze that’s hovering over my head.
Even without the aid of beer, my belly begins to flab. My legs, now embedded with gout, are stiff for the lack of exercise. I couldn’t walk a mile without feeling the pain. Even the simple task of going down a flight of stairs takes me a while to complete.
I can only walk, not run. I can only jump, not leap. What was once a simple disparity is now a big difference. Despite this, this year, I will undergo yet another leap. Thankfully, one that wouldn’t require the use of my legs.
For this is a leap of faith…
There is no proof that there lies a better one for me beyond that murky winter fog… only subtle hints. There is no assurance that I’ll find comfort beneath that misty breeze… only uncertain cues.
But I am too old for this. Too old to be a maverick and take chances. In this life full of uncertainties and accidents, I planned on being certain on issues that concern me. I planned, engraved it down a plate of steel, and tried to follow my own set of guarded rules.
Only to be broken down by unguided consequence that had been revealed right in front of me. Guarded rules shot down by an inconsequential truth.
Truth that however way you plan your life to be, there will come a time that you wouldn’t expect, a chance that the gods above you will play a trick on you, and fate will make a fool out of you. And however hard you may try to resist, you are just as powerless as a flower is to a bee.
That even without wings, you will try to fly, and fly high in the sky. And even without a voice, you will try to speak, and sing with might. And even without your legs, you will try to jump, and in doing so, leap.
And all you can do is look beyond the distant horizon where you left the traces of your previous self. And pray to whomever sits on the cloud… that everything is going to be alright, a prayer more for the new as well as for the old.
And whatever lies beyond would be paramount to your continuously-evolving self.