Looking from the inside of my comfortable hotel room, I could sense the North American winter cold. I gazed at a few snowflakes stacked in the window pane and tried to imagine a million different kinds.
I couldn’t quite place where the west meets the east. Except perhaps that I do know that it is daytime, I couldn’t see where the sun was.
I decidedly went out the balcony to enjoy the skyline and lit a cigar. On the roof of the next building I saw a lone bird sitting on top of what looked like a mechanized chimney. I thought it was a bit funny because most birds do hang out together. I guess this one’s a loner.
Being a night owl myself, I hate the desert heat but I do welcome the winter cold. But not the winter freeze. So my coming here in Vancouver on perhaps the coldest time of the year was both a relief and a curse.
Before I even came here, I asked some friends what the city was like. One said it was indeed a highly urbanized city but cold. Adding that the city itself has more than just the “weather kind” of cold, but that it also had that coldness that is devoid of the warmth that you expect from breathing humans.
Of course, I decided to venture on my own. A little hesitant at first, I provided myself with my typical “we’ll see” defensive attitude. What I had found would weaken my entire array of defense mechanisms. I found something odd and surreal; I had rediscovered the winter mist.
On top of that building contemplating the last of my cigar, I saw her. Slowly at first… then a sudden flash. Without me knowing it, she had wrapped herself into my whole being…. into my consciousness… all the way into places within me that I never realized existed. I was totally powerless.
Making love on the balcony where I first gazed upon her enigmatic soul, I was the Romeo and she my Juliet. The whole of Vancouver stopped dead in its tracks. Time stood still like an old scratched photograph. There was just that moment, captured forever, carefully etched in the canvass of my soul. There was nothing else. It was just me and my winter mist.
I walked around the city and embraced whatever the mist had to offer. The big city was like in suspended animation. The streets were filled of people rushing to the converging point where the Chinese New Year parade was about to commence. What was odd was the fact that despite the hundreds of people and cars up and about, I could hear no sound. Not a single one.
I was like a spectator watching an old reel of silent movie. I was warped into a different dimension, my own twilight zone, sucked into a personal black hole and transported to an entirely different new world. It was eerie and strange and yet for some reason, it felt more than just good. There is not a word yet invented that could really fully explain it. If Einstein could come out of his grave he would describe it as metaphysical. I would call it as it is, magical. I became the tin man who fell in love with Dorothy.
I never thought that at my age, I will still discover something magnificently wonderful. But I did. I thought I felt all the things I man could ever feel, but this… as surprising as it was, is something new. And it made me ecstatically dizzy.
Just like my love affair with the moon, the winter mist is quite extra-ordinary. I guess I can honestly say… she was unparalleled. Her distinct smell fills my entire senses. In my vision, her shadows seem so refined. Her echoes whisper ever so softly in my ears. The cold and haze of her essence gives me warmth that could last a lifetime of winter.
And for that I was cursed with the longing of her presence. Now I yearn for her to come back, fill me again with her gaze. and quite hopefully… stay.